Stupid Vacation! Vacation was supposed to help relax all the bullshit from my life, and it did for awhile...It was peaceful, blue water, sex on a nightly schedule. Deep sleep. No worries about Amanda or what to do for work when I returned or life in general.
Except we had to come back. In one week, Amanda managed to skip school three times, and have the police at our house because some boy was acting a fool screaming and yelling in our driveway.
I felt fat and cramped on vacation, the food was crap which did not make me feel any better body wise. Came home and yup still fat. Thinking very long and hard about making an appointment with a doctor about the lap band. Tired of squeezing in plastic patio chairs and asking for a seat belt extender.
Somehow, through no fault of my own, I lost my morning sitting gig. Went the week after vacation and then a email to tell me no longer needed. A friend of the family will cover the last 4weeks needed before school lets out. My regular job keeps giving me less and less hours as they are trying to "save money" in their half a million dollar home. Meanwhile, I keep having to ask Nick to cover bills more and more often. I know writing about vacation and money woes in same post seems irresponsible and it is. But Nick already paid for the vacation and we would have lost the airfare. And let's not get it twisted, we are not poor, I just want/need savings!!!
So I need a job, one that pays a livable wage, either nanny or big girl job. If only my great nanny gig would have lasted another year to year and a half until student teaching stated, that would have been excellent. Alas these things do not work out as they are supposed to, too often it seems to me.
I have not had sex once since we returned. When I am not cleaning or looking for a job, I am sleeping or silently cursing Amanda, or worrying about other shit. So much for the love train being started back up.
I also still feel completely friendless, which is ironic as I had a party I was invited to last Saturday that I did not attend due to all the bullshit running rampant through my head. I just don't want to do anything or anyone. I would however, love to be back in a lounge chair in Mexico.
